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It has now been just over a year since our petition to you for assistance in our adoption of Bethlehem and Tewdrose. Through those many months, God has been shaping and molding our family in many ways – ways we never could have expected. Growing your faith, by definition, isn’t a comfortable undertaking. Nonetheless, it is a basic part of existence for every believer pursuing a life lived to honor our Savoir. In light of that truth, I’d like to share some of what God is teaching us.
Every day, I grow, in ever so small increments, to understand on a deeper level God’s pursuit of His glory. As I first wrestled with this idea, I struggled with its seeming contradiction. On one hand, we have a God who loves us very much. A God who loved us so much that he planned the cruel, suffering death of His only Son as a payment for the sins of His adopted children. Peter preaches at Pentecost, “This Jesus, [was] delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God,” Acts 2:22-23. And Paul writes to his Roman converts, “We were reconciled to God by the death of his Son,” Romans 5:10.
On the other, we have a God who appears to be a megalomaniac – obsessed with Himself! The Bible depicts a God who will pursue His own glory at all cost. “I am the Lord, that is my name; my glory I give to no other nor my praise to carved idols.” Isaiah 42:8. Even humans made in His image were ultimately created for this purpose. “Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made,” Isaiah 43:7.
The more I read Scripture, the bigger my God gets. If God is who He says He is, and He has done what He says He has done, then ascribing our deepest affections and sincerest praise to anything other than Him is entirely empty. I can’t imagine an endeavor any more void of significance than for God to command our passionate pursuit of any other end than Himself.
So when God says that we are created to worship Him, is that really megalomania or is it just another facet of His perfect love. The most loving thing God can do is command our avid admiration of Himself.
In light if this truth I’d like to challenge you, “How big is your God?” Does He merely desire us to live comfortable lives in pursuit of the American dream? Or, does He, amid all the ups AND downs of life, desire us to be satisfied in Him? John Piper, senior pastor of teaching at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota, says it best: “God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.”
Secondly, God is teaching us, through the process of adoption, how he views His children. Through his sovereign grace He chose us to be His. It was grace because there is nothing in us that would make us choose God or earn His salvation: “For all have sinned and fall short…” and we “were dead in our trespasses and sins…” Romans 3:23 & Ephesians 2:1. Grace by definition is “unmerited favor,” getting something that you haven’t earned. Bethlehem and Tewdrose have done nothing to earn our favor. They bring nothing to our family equation that we don’t already have – except their love and devotion! And honestly, as we are just about to celebrate their fourth month as part of our family, they are still learning to set their affections on us. A perfect picture of our relationship with our adopted Father!
So my second challenge to you is to see yourself as an adopted child of God: “for you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons [and daughters] by which we cry out, ’Abba, Father!’” Romans 8:15. Before our adoption, our master was sin, Romans 6:16-18. We obeyed it and we were devoted to it. But now, as God’s children, the most obedient we can possibly be is to set our deepest affections on Him. For, He has created us for His glory and, after all, He is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him…
Mommy and Bethlehem play Amharic patty-cake at KVI Addis Ababa our first day in the orphanage.
Mommy and Theodore play the same.
Theodore sings an Amharic praise chorus on the way to Nazareth to visit KVI.
Yesterday and today have been wonderful. God is so good! The bedroom and sleeping arrangements have not been an issue. Jet-lag is till working itself out however. Theodore was up this morning at 3:30 AM ready to play. Needless to say we are all very tired. We were able to keep him up until about 8:00 PM tonight. Our hope is that he is fully adjusted in another day or two (or I’ll have to begin taking afternoon naps).
I have posted a few pics to sum up our first couple of days as a family united as six. Enjoy them. Over the next couple of days I want to post on the following topics while they are somewhat fresh in my head: “The People of Ethiopia”, “The Places of Ethiopia”, “The Food of Ethiopia” and “Why Ethiopia for Adoption?”
I am sorry for not responding to every comment to every post while in the Big E. Our computer time was limited and I made it my priority to keep the blog updated. I do want to thank all who have commented and are reading for your support and most importantly your prayers.
I do have to issue one editorial correction/clarification. Michelle informed me that I did not give proper credit for the backpacks and their contents. The backpacks were actually the brain-child of her mother Connie and her sister Terri. So, thank you Connie and Terri – they were not only a huge success with the children they were lifesavers at many points throughout our trip.
Look for a few more posts this week as time and memory allows. We experienced much and have already learned much and would love to share with all of you. Peace and grace for today…
We are officially back on USA soil! Every time we landed Theodore asked if we were in KY. I told him each time that we had more planes to ride. He was so excited you would think he had won the lottery. Bethlehem is not feeling so good. She has had a fever since we left the big E but has been a real trooper. We are currently at oHare awaiting our flight to Louisville. While waiting we had our first go at chocolate ice cream to mixed reviews… Oh well. Everything is new for them:escalators, moving walkways, infa red faucets and toilets, hand dryers and you name it! Its been a load of fun! Looking forward to being home.I’ll try to update the blog a couple more times over the next few days, there is so much more that I’d love to share. Its been an awesome journey and we couldn’t have done it without you all!
It’s finally Friday and I have finally found a computer that works. We’ve been without power for the past two days. I will be brief because I am at the orphanage and I am missing yet another coffee ceremony.
Today we have had some sibling rivalry. Too be expected I guess but with no way to really communicate it is very hard. Please pray for Michelle and me to handle the situations with discernment and wisdom. We don’t want to risk isolating either of them or add to the fear I know is already looming over them. We love you all – our time in Ethiopia has been absolutely AWESOME on all levels. We love the people, the places and the whole experience! Pray also for the flight back – it will be long but I feel the children will do fine… Michelle and me however…
I’ll try to put an update up when we hit US airspace. Lots of you are keeping up with this, we had 230 visitors to the blog one day…
What an amazing day! God has answered your/our prayers! Bethlehem just went to bed with no mention of sleeping alone – thank you God! And… the trip to KVI Nazareth was nothing short of a miracle.
Theodore woke up knowing today was the day. It was a long but good trip down – about and hour and a half. It is hotter in Nazareth than Addis. We pulled into the orphanage and Bethlehem and Theodore were greeted with cheers from their old friends. I got a few okay pics and a few seconds of video that will barley communicate the excitement. Their birth-mother was there and embraced them and Michelle and me. There were certainly a few intensely emotional moments at the outset – for all involved. After that, however, the balance of the time was more akin to a joyful celebration.
There was no more crying – not even at departing time. It was truly a blissful, goodbye send-off for loved ones wishing loved ones well. I did get plenty of pics of us with the children and their mother as well as some video. In the video their mother explains that she has entrusted her children to God. She added as a note to Michelle and me, “I have given you all that I have.” Those few words packed a lot of punch. The children were certainly her most valued possessions in one sense and they could be better cared for if given away. But in a very real way, all she has on this earth is them and she has chosen to entrust us with them. Wow… I pray we will be good stewards of the valuables she has commended to us.
I asked her if she had anything she’d want to say to the children when they are older. She replied that she’d love for them to come visit her if possible. Michelle and I have already considered that a certain possibility. We’d all like to come back…
I’m not sure why or how, but we found ourselves in another coffee ceremony today – snap! While it was going on, they fed us some injera and wat, popcorn (traditional favorite) and a thick, sweet buttery pancake-like bread. Really good stuff! I have pictures of Michelle and the children’s mother hand feeding each other – it was an amazing moment.
When we loaded up I was preparing for the other shoe to fall but it never did. The children gave all of their friends excited goodbye hugs and their mother loaded them into the van. Everyone was happy – no tears, no sadness. This is what was supposed to happen, this was the plan. This is what their mother wanted. As orphans and workers, it’s ultimately what you want for your friends and the children you care for. It was a very beautiful thing and all glory and honor goes to our good and perfect God because it was not what was expected.
I know everyone’s situation is different. Because of that fact, everyone has to evaluate their own scenario and make the decision they feel God leading them to make. Now having the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, we feel confident we did the right thing. If you find yourself needing to make this decision during your adoption, pray and God will give you a peace about whatever is best.
We did a few other things today but I’ll save it for another post or save it so I actually have something to talk about when we get back. Enjoy the pics. I’ll try to post a final update before we leave the guest house tomorrow, about 1-2 PM Addis time (4-5 AM Bagdad, KY time). It will likely be the last post from a computer until we get home. I’ll try to post from the phone when we land in DC sometime Saturday morning.
Thanks again for the prayers of you righteous in Jesus Christ for they have accomplished much! Peace through grace!!!
Everything went perfect today at the Embassy – PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! We waited two hours for what amounted to about 3 minutes for three signatures and two questions. There were several families from Hope and KVI and it looked like everyone made it with no issues.
We had our first real boo-boo today. Theodore bent over in front of the swing to pick up a kwas and received a pretty good gash in his head. Head wounds bleed a lot. There was blood all over him and me and he was scared. The staff here at the guest house were amazing help. I held him while they got the bleeding stopped and nursed the wound. I just got to hug him and keep repeating the words “father” and “I love you” in Amharic (I can’t really spell them). He kept kissing my face and repeating the word “father” (sounds like: abot). I hate that it happened but we bonded during those precious minutes.
Two new items emerged today that you can be praying for now that the embassy hurdle is traversed. The first is with Bethlehem. She was used to sleeping with a friend at the orphanage. She has gone to sleep with Theodore the past two nights because they only brought one cot in for them. We really didn’t give it much thought until this last night when it seemed to be a touchy subject with her at bedtime. All we could see is it becoming a real difficulty once we got home because they are to be in separate bedrooms.
Of course they will be sharing the rooms with a sibling, but at first a very unfamiliar sibling in a very unfamiliar environment. So to start dealing with it now to attempt a bigger issue later, we had them put an extra cot in our room today. When Bethlehem saw it this evening, she lost it. This was her first real outburst and we couldn’t calm her down. Michelle comforted her for a good hour but stuck to the plan of independent sleep. I just finished praying with them – in their separate beds – and she seems fine. Please pray that will be the extent of the adjustment for her.
A more difficult dilemma may prove to be with Theodore. Within about 15 minutes of meeting them at the orphanage on Monday, Theodore asked if I would take him to Nazareth (I only knew this with translating help). I told him I would take him on Thursday. He was very satisfied with that and didn’t mention again… until today.
When we got in the car to go to the embassy he was so excited because he thought it was the trip to Nazareth. It wasn’t of course. He was broken. He and Bethlehem react differently. She seemed mad, almost pouting about the bed. Theodore was crushed and pitiful. Though we are visiting the orphanage there, his desire to go to Nazareth is primarily to see his birth mother. He doesn’t really speak of her but I know that is what is drawing him there. We are planning to see her in the morning around 10:00 AM Addis time.
It will be one of the most difficult things Michelle or I have ever done. There is no doubt in my mind that it is the right thing to do. Their mother desires to meet us and send her children off with what will likely be a final farewell. She deserves that. While some have counseled it might be too difficult for the children, I have become equally convinced that is the right thing to do for them. If we didn’t take them, one day they’d be old enough to realize that we chose not let them. I do not think I could produce a reason that wasn’t patently selfish.
So pray for us all tomorrow – well actually tonight. If you happen to be up between 3 and 4:00 AM, feel free to pray then. Pray for their mother, that she has the right words to explain the situation and ground her children with peace. Pray for Bethlehem and Theodore that that hear truth and feel that peace. And while they may not fully understand, pray that they trust all of us that love them unconditionally. Pray for Michelle and me, that we stay strong and can feel the same peace that we desire the children to experience. We will have pictures and video for the children to view someday when they ask and are ready… that will be invaluable…
All that said, it’s been another really good day. Sorry for another tear-jerking post. I can promise tomorrow’s update will be emotional as well but I pray that it will be a story of joy and encouragement. Might try to post a few pics in the morning if the computer is free. We have also been battling power outages. This makes day four (not in a row) with no power during daylight hours.
Love you each and covet your prayers…
Great day today with the children! Very laid back. We were supposed to go to Hope today to fill out paperwork but they called us yesterday afternoon while at the KVI orphanage and said we needed to meet with Rachel that evening. So Eyob had his driver take us all the way back across town to get our paperwork from the guest house (we didn’t think we needed it until Tuesday). Then he took us to a different side of town to the Hope House to meet with Rachel. Then he took us back to KVI to get the children and then back to the guest house late yesterday.
We were hungry when we returned last night so we decided to order pizza from Danny next door. Danny is an Ethiopian that has spent many years in the States and has just come back to open a restaurant. He has only been open a week but has very good food and can speak both English and Amharic – invaluable for helping with ordering food and interacting with the kids. Michelle and I had been ordering traditional Ethiopian fare from him because I hate the idea of coming all the way here to order a hamburger. So, I thought pizza would be cool for our first meal alone with the kids – because what kid doesn’t love pizza…?
Well, to make a long story short, there is still pizza in the fridge and we have eaten three whole orders of shirro and ingera just today. Danny is going to take me back into the kitchen tomorrow to show me some tips and fundamental ingredients in traditional Ethiopian food. I’m kind of excited about that.
The day has been very relaxed and free from distraction so we could focus our attention on Bethlehem and Theodore. Theodore woke up this morning and the first word out of his mouth was, “kwas.” He was not upset but rather elated when saying the word. I tried for 30 minutes to understand (with the help of Michelle, Bethlehem and our Amharic phrase book) with no success. So I gave him paper to draw a picture but he wrote out the word in Amharic (which looks very similar to Arabic). We took it with us on the way to eat breakfast and asked one of the girls at the desk what that word was. She replied, “ball.” Ball! I thought he was missing something in his morning routine! As a result, I was feeling like a pretty lousy father because I couldn’t produce the answer he was seeking. He merely woke up and wanted to play ball with his father. So we kicked the “football” (soccer ball) a lot today.
Bethlehem spent her time swinging on the swing set out back. I think she, like her sister Autumn, could swing all day. We had several showers today so in between them we’d come in a color. Michelle had put a backpack together for each of them with coloring books, writing pads, crayons and pencils – oh, and pencil sharpeners. Bethlehem thinks the sharpener is the coolest thing she’s ever seen. She sharpens between each use. Her pencils won’t last long at this rate…
Eli will be most tickled to hear about one of their favorite games: Thumb Wars! They didn’t call it “thumb war” of course – and they count to ten instead of: “one, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!” We played that a lot today too. They are both quite strong actually.
We just put the kids down – they were very tired (as are we). We played hard today and after our last round of shirro and ingera, they wanted to go to bed. They are very well behaved. Bethlehem showed some independent thought today but I think it is because she is used to being very well cared for by Theodore. He helps her with everything. He helps her put on and zip up her jacket. He helps her pick up her crayons and pack everything back in her backpack. He even helped her make her bed this morning. Oh, and by the way, we never told them to do any of that. When they got up, they made their bed. When they were done coloring, they picked up all their stuff and packed it into their bags. They have wonderful dispositions and everyone is guaranteed to fall in love with them.
The more I watch them the more I see how God is bringing Eli the perfect playmate and Autumn the perfect little sister to help care for. Bethlehem and Theodore will have much to learn but I am discerning that the best lessons are being prepared for Autumn, Eli, Michelle and me.
Enjoy the couple of pictures – I’ll try to do more later. Video is impossible and pics difficult with the slow connection. Love you all!!!
What a glorious day! Words cannot describe the joy we experienced today. The driver from the KVI orphanage picked us up about 9:45 AM this morning. As Michelle and I talked on the way we could hardly keep from feeling like we were on a first date or something. There was a giddy excitement accompanied by a bit of uncertainty regarding the unknown of how the day (date) would play out.
It was a long haul across town, up and down many city streets and alleys – whatever it took to avoid the traffic and construction. I will dedicate an entire post to some of the awesome things we’ve experienced as we have traversed Addis. As we pulled up to the gate, the driver signified our arrival by a couple of short blasts on the horn. This not only triggered the gate keeper to let us in, it sang of hope to the children within. As we entered, they came running – Bethlehem and Theodore on the front lines.
Of course, they were beautiful. They recognized us with no problems at all. I quickly embraced Theodore only to feel his heart beating so hard and fast I thought it would burst from his chest. Bethlehem clinched Michelle as if they had been the closest of kin separated by only time. In retrospect, it is more of an emotional weight than I realized in the moment.
We were in a sea of children (really, about 30). Bethlehem and Theodore were so excited to show us around. They drug us from one corner to the other explaining in seemingly ceaseless talk – with a few English words here and there, but mostly in Amharic. Michelle and I were very pleased with KVI and the staff. The kids were all very well cared for and very well behaved.
The children played well together. They were so excited to play with us. As Michelle attempted to play some of the old standards, like ring-around-the-rosie, it quickly became obvious that those that had come before us had left a legacy of playful games. It became kind of fun to keep trying new ones until we found some they didn’t know. Autumn and Eli will be pleased to know that rock, paper, scissors was a huge hit! It seems “one potato, two potato” hadn’t made it here either. They learn very quickly; within minutes they were teaching others the new games. They also attempted to teach us a few that are original to their culture – you’ll have to see the video to appreciate.
We had the privileged of eating lunch with the children. They helped with serving each other, especially the older helping with the younger, as well as cleaning up. Theodore was asked to say the blessing for lunch… not sure what he said, but God was. Michelle and I ate some ingera and wat – actually pretty tasty stuff. The children ate until they were full. They eat four times a day: breakfast, lunch, snack & dinner. I will probably devote an entire post to Ethiopian food fare as well. As Divine fate would again have it, we were invited to be a part of a coffee ceremony – we couldn’t refuse. Not sure, but I believe Michelle might be acquiring a taste – I better double my espresso bean budget for 2009.
There were a couple of children that we really felt drawn to while there. Really smart and joyful children – despite their circumstances. While we were engaging them, they seemed to be the happiest children on the planet. As it became obvious our time was growing short, the weight of seeing some of the older children process that yet another family was leaving, and leaving them behind, was almost too much to bear. It’s almost too much to type as I sit in a room full of people waiting to use this computer. I’m sure they think I’m losing it. You see it in movies, like Annie, but the reality of the hopelessness of some is a reality we all need to come to terms with – regularly.
Obviously there is still hope for these children – it just seems to wane as they get older. Please consider how you might help some of these. Jesus left us a powerful example to engage the down and out but there is a pureness that is distilled in our worship as we care for orphans and widows – those who cannot care for themselves (James 1:27). It might mean you need to consider adopting one of these children into your family. It might mean you need to consider helping someone else through sacrificial financial and prayer support. It might mean your family could sponsor children in orphanages like KVI until they do find a home. Maybe it’s loading up your family and adopting a couple of grandparents at a local nursing home.
It might be any number of things but I am sure it is something. It is putting our actions where our mouths say our faith is. It is healthy for our worship of God and honors Him more than we can know. It might be the fatigue setting in or it might be that I’m an emotional basket case, but I’d bring home a couple more today if I could. Notice I said “I.” Michelle isn’t here with me but I believe she would share the sentiment. I was so proud of her today. She was so concerned about how she would hold up but she was amazing! She really connects well with children – maybe that’s why she married me.
As we loaded into the car, Bethlehem and Theodore could hardly wait to get in. On the way back, they were singing a song in Amharic. Michelle asked our driver what the song was. He replied that it was a “spiritual song” to which Michelle replied, “What are the words?” He said, “They are singing about Jesus Christ and praising His name.” Kind’a sums it all up…
Too much info – I know. Thanks for listening. I’ll try to post pics and maybe a video later. Good night…
